Ask An Expert: Referral Blackmail

Q: I'm being threatened to refer a potential intern, what should I do?

Short back story: I went to coffee with a fellow alumni, whom I did not know, as a favor to discuss her application to the company I work for. I told her some hard truths about my workplace and the actions of my executive team, admittedly I was a little too candid. When she asked if I would recommend her, I politely said that I wasn’t comfortable doing that at the time as I didn’t really know her. We parted friendly but shortly afterwards I was contacted claiming a recording exists of me trashing ownership and the executives and I would need to refer the woman or I would be exposed. Someone keeps contacting me claiming that I need to approve her referral or she will release the recording to my HR department. Human Resources has now informed me that she indicated me as her referral and is asking for confirmation. How should I handle this?

Scott's Answer: The easiest answer is often the correct answer. What are the odds she knew you were going to crush your company when you did and happened to record it? Low. Next, here's the deal. Typically I'll at least give points for creativity attacking the job market but I'm really questioning the thought process of our blackmailer here. You were harsh enough on your company to be blackmailed, but she still wants to work there badly enough to pull this stunt? Easy answer. Stop contacting this person, cut them off completely. Decline the referral emphatically, give a reverse referral if you can, a hard no. Here's what I would say if this ever came up in an official, internal capacity:

"I was talking to what I thought was a friendly acquaintance on my personal time and trying to help her out because we were both members of the same club in university. I was honest with her and when she asked me for a referral, I said that I wasn't comfortable doing so at the time because I didn't know her at all - good call by me it seems, as she's a criminal! As for a recording of what I said in a personal meeting on personal time, I'd love to hear it because last time I checked, blackmail and illegal recordings are serious, punishable offenses and I hope the person or persons responsible will be brought to justice. What else would you like to talk about? Because I'm not getting into the details of any private conversations I have outside of the time that I dedicate to you."

Don't tell them what you said either, why get into the weeds with that? Human resources works for your company, not you. 

That said, if your complaints are valid and are impacting the daily work lives of you and your co-workers, maybe you need to start finding some ways to address them. Office politics and executive drama do need navigating and can certainly permeate down but there are ways to mitigate the fallout and manage up. If you’re experiencing friction or stress within your team and aren’t sure where to start, don’t let it wait until you’re venting to a stranger with nefarious intentions or if your struggle with the job market has you considering blackmail, contact us and let’s start navigating this together.

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Scott works alongside his clients as a micro-mentor, coach and personal career consultant building lasting solutions to all sorts of work problems. He applies his professional expertise to his life experience and the result is that he's always exactly where he wants to be. He'd love to hear your story.